Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I’m so poor I’m filling a flask with vodka and bringing it to the bar.
Randomize
