Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
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