He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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