So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My carpet still smells like piss and I THINK YOU KNOW WHY.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
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