is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
