legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
