I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
He felt like a one man threesome
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Randomize
