This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
Randomize
