You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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