I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
