Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
