I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Randomize
