Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Randomize
