Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
