Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
