Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
