i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Randomize
