Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
