My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
