I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
