help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
