If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
