we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Randomize
