I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
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