I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
