why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
