OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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