if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
i officially have over $300 in my bank account. that's a year's worth of chipotle.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
