I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
