I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
