she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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