Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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