either way he was missing a nipple.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Randomize
