Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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