ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
Randomize
