just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Randomize
