It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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