I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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