Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
One minute we were ordering sandwhiches. The next hes peeing in a trash can yelling at kids about how tv made him this way
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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