dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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