lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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