i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize