I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
Welp. I just hopped out of his window to avoid meeting his parents... happy monday!
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
