U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
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