you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
