Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Randomize
