Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Randomize
