My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
