4 words: hood of his car
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Randomize
