I need help removing her.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
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