Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I was hitting on her while she was puking ... yeah i was pretty drunk
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Randomize
