you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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