I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
