Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
