bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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