My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize