So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
