Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
Operation Purity has been aborted
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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