they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Mike is offhisass drunk and just sat down next to my sister and said "If you gained 30 pounds and stopped reading poetry, I would be attracted to you. Now, your little sister, attractive, even though she's basically the same person as you- she just pulls it off better because she's 15."
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
Randomize
