she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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