I met the friendliest cop last night
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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