i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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