Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Randomize
