i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
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