So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
