that's an acceptable place to lick
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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