If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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