of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
Randomize